2017.

Where has the year gone?

Last year when I wrote my New Year’s blog it was full of statistics and full of hope for the future. I felt like I had to prove to everyone just how much God had done through 2016 and that we were really doing what He wanted us to do. I was also really excited for all the great things that were going to happen this year and I couldn’t wait to get started.

This post will be a little different. I’m entering 2018 a far more humble and uncertain person than I was a year ago, but I’m really grateful for this time in my life because it means God is working, and in a far more important way than I can share on this screen.

This past year was certainly unforgettable. I experienced things I’ve never experienced before and I worked harder than ever before. I pushed my limits in our adventures to the point of truly fearing for my life for the very first time, heart pounding, knees shaking, and knowing that my only hope was in God and my husband to protect me. I spent more time hosting people than not, and learning loads about true hospitality and how I need grace to offer that every single day (and how far I still have to go in that department). I traveled for the first time in my marriage without Simon and learned that I am far more capable than I give myself credit for sometimes, but that I also need him in so many ways and I am so thankful to have him by my side. I spent time with babies and kids and LOVED it in a way I never expected to be able to enjoy my friends’ children. Truly, this year was amazing.

The biggest “event” of the year was starting our church and the second half of the year has been consumed entirely by this new way of life. It’s been so hard, it’s stretched me in so many areas, and it’s made me realize just how much I need Jesus each and every day. I am nothing without Him. My desires to love and my desires to grow can only been achieved by His heart for others and His spirit working in me. Period. I can’t make people change, I can’t even change my own heart, without Him doing the work.

That’s been a beautifully harsh reality that I’m learning to embrace. I’ve always been a go-getter. I can do anything I put my mind to and I’m proud of the things I’ve accomplished, but the truth is I wouldn’t be able to do any of it without God’s help, without the love of his children around me, and without His leading in my life.  This year has proven that. When I feel as if I don’t have any more energy to give, I lean on His strength and I can do a little more. When I think that there is no way I can love someone the way He wants me to, He breaks my heart so it can grow and make room for the love I need. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13) That is not just a platitude to make people feel better; it’s the truth.

So this coming year I am still excited. I am looking forward to an adventure with Simon next summer, seeing friends and family, continuing to build and love on our church family….so many things that I can look forward to. But I am also trusting that God is going to do far bigger and better things than anything I can plan or imagine in the year ahead, and that’s what makes me most excited. On my own I can accomplish some pretty great things, but with Him making the decisions I know the results will be far more rewarding.

Here’s to the best year yet…